


Dear Dad: I Miss You

by THybrid21



Category: Original Work
Genre: Father's Day fic, First Person, Gen, Introspection, Nostalgia, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 07:53:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4738562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/THybrid21/pseuds/THybrid21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear Dad, do you remember when...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Dad: I Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> I miss you dad. I miss you, and there's no way I can not admit that. For all those out there, if you're still able. Let your father figure know that they're appreciated. Let them know that you care.

Hey Daddy, do you remember when I was so small that you could carry me in your arms. When I was just a new flickering light who screamed all the time and raised hell? Do you remember the days when everything was brand new to me. The grass, the sky, the carpet to?

Hey Daddy, do you remember the days as I began to grow? When I spoke my first words and began to craw all around. Remember when you brought home my brother and I stared with such wide eyes. The first pictures I drew and that time that I spilt coffee all over myself.

I remember daddy. I remember the pain and screaming and how you reacted so fast. I remember the cold and the soaked clothing, the small red washtub that fit into the bottom of the shower. Do you remember that Daddy? Do you remember how hard I was once to catch, and how I hated my bed time yet always got to sleep anyway?

Hey Daddy, do you remember the day that you left? The confusion and the shouting and Mummy crying? Do you remember the early visits? The rabbits and the dogs? Daddy do you remember me tugging your sleeve and trying to get you to read to me? My first day of playgroup with paint around my mouth? Do you remember it daddy do you?

I remember daddy you taught me to ride a bike. To swim and enjoy life. To laugh and cry freely and to appreciate what we had. To cook, because mummy can't. I remember daddy, I remember the cousins you introduced me to and the new people I could watch. I remember daddy, I remember the plays.

Hey Dad, do you remember that day that you brought Freedom home and I got to hold her. I'm older now. I'm bigger, I'm in school. Dad, do you remember my visits and the way I would grin. Dad do you remember how careful I was, how scared because how could you trust me with someone so small.

I remember dad. I remember our pet rats and how I would watch them run, I remember the twins and how they were so small, with such delicate hands. I remember the cheesecake that you would always bake and the self-created pizza.

Dad... Dad... I remember all of this, do you? Do you remember watching the football and staying up late? Do you remember carrying me around on your shoulders, walking down to the park and watching me grow up.

Hey, Father. I remember hearing that you were gone. I remember feeling numb and cold. I never cried though... I couldn't, I couldn't cry. Because, I didn't believe it father. I remembered showing you the saxophone and how I could play.

Do you remember way back then, when it was my first day. I remember playing the music and there you were right up in the back, a secret smile... And...

Daddy, Dad, Father. Do you remember the day that they buried you. Tossing dirt over the coffin and the story that I said, swore that I would write. Do you remember Daddy? Do you remember my smile and my laugh?

Do you remember the laptop that you got me? I've still got it Dad, even though it doesn't work anymore, and we can't get it repaired. I've still got it. Dad, why are you gone...

I miss you, do you miss me?

Daddy, I'm still, I'm still your little girl.

Do you remember that? Daddy? Do you know that?

No matter how old I get, Dad... I'm still your little child and I'm missing you.

Hey Dad, I miss you.

Because if you were here then I could tell you what I've discovered about myself. I would be able to tell you that I don't get sex, at all. It seems so strange, except that I can almost see it if I had a strong enough bond. That I can find romantic attraction in anyone, male, female, transgender, agender, trigender, non-binary, or just plain queer because they're not sure. I would be able to tell you that I myself don't get gender, male, female, I'm not quite either because I feel neither... Non-binary is wrong because it feels to me as though it's taking something away, I'm your agender child Dad. I would be able to show you my drawings, my stories and my world...

But, you're gone daddy... And all I want to know is... Wherever you are...

Do you remember me? Because I remember you.

Dear Dad: I miss you...


End file.
